Expectations are a funny thing. I feel I am someone who harbors many expectations. My expectations so often obscure my view of reality to such an extreme I cannot see things as they are or people for who they are for that matter.
Dropping expectations often feels like a thin line to walk, for I fear I will become tolerant of being mistreated or detached and complacent. One thing I can experience undoubtedly is how many expectations I have for myself. I am always “working” on something to fix, repair, or put the way I expect it to be. I am beginning to experience control, insecurity, and fear masquerade as expectations.
I focus so intently on making things work I lose sight of being able to watch them work. Everything then becomes viewed through the lens of a problem, and everything becomes blurred. Because there is no separation of how we treat ourselves and between how we treat others I can undoubtedly experience how my expectations of myself bleed out into the world and onto all of those around me.