There is a fine line between acceptance and being involved to fix, resolve and replace.
Acceptance is just letting it be.
Fixing is seeing it and wanting or needing to do something about it – action steps to rid yourself of the experience.
Acceptance is, however, totally accepting it, period. Accept it. There it is.
Acceptance, even itself, can be turned into a form of fixing if the acceptance is an action step towards a means to an end. Acceptance with a feeling of do this first, then…is not true acceptance.
Accepting is a much simpler thing.
True acceptance stands on its own. It’s easy to get caught up in a process. Accept this so you can then request a change, or remove yourself from the situation, or then evaluate it in a never-ending mind circle. That approach brings acceptance as something in a list of steps to get you somewhere other than where you are.
You have a choice.
You always have a choice to respond or react.
It has been a fine line to walk, and I have confused it in the past with tolerance. Acceptance and tolerance are not the same things. If something doesn’t feel good, we can accept what is happening in that moment and then make a choice to respond to honor ourselves.
Response opens the door to personal clarity. Reacting seems to be a rocky path to non-acceptance. When I am reacting stories are created in my mind, and the reality of my own experience is muddied by the alteration of my perception through those stories. When I am in a reactive state my mind generates thoughts driven to justify; explain my reaction by judging the situation, judging the people involved or judging myself for things not being the way I want them. On the other hand, becoming aware and accepting what I am experiencing and how I’m feeling leads me closer to myself. It helps me understand my habitual responses to life and ultimately brings me closer to me.
(photo by Paul Green)