Energy extended outward, when intentionally watching, it surges inward and dances in front of me.
The amount of energy produced inside of me exceeds the amount needed to function. It overwhelms me as it comes inside and slowly reduces. I feel the production of energy is too great, and it is apparent that it takes more energy production to be external than is necessary to function internally. It is as if the extraordinary amount of energy I feel desires to extend outwards to release itself. Yet, it seems the desire to reach outwards, in actuality, generates more energy and therefore creates an antithetical loop; exchanging the desire to expel with the reaching out to expel which by its nature, produces more and adds to what was already too much.
The mind reacts to a need for shaking off, letting out, dispelling the excessive production. This need is apparent when trying to bring the energy back in. The body feels restless and responds with a nauseous sensation, a sense of being too plugged in, and receiving too much energy. It is not the unwieldiness or the lack of self-control. It is the production of too much energy driven by habitual ways of being external rather than internal.
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